Sex Forever?

I field interesting questions as a pastor. I received one just the other day on the topic of sex. Thankfully, the Bible has a lot to say! It’s such an important topic to understand God’s design.  

The Bible is simultaneously simple and complex. I love it when people consider the challenges of Scripture and want some understanding. These topics need to be approached humbly so that knowledge doesn’t puff up. We hold tightly to the core of our faith and humbly seek wisdom in those areas where godly people disagree. Two people can both be pursuing Jesus passionately and differ on an array of Scriptural perspectives. I’m simply providing some framework as we consider the topic at hand.

So, what was the question? I’m sure you’re dying to know.

Will there be sex in heaven? Perhaps the answer is both yes and no.

Let’s start with the yes. Sex is foremost something we are, not something that we do. So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female. (Genesis 1:27) Before sin distorted God’s perfect creation, humanity was designed sexually. There was a physical distinction within humanity expressed through maleness and femaleness.

Our physical bodies are not temporary holding cells as we pass through this life. Scripture is clear on this. Jesus, upon His resurrection, possessed a physical body. He could eat and experience touch. His bodily resurrection makes the way for our resurrection. And this resurrection goes beyond a spiritual one. But our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. He will transform the body of our humble condition into the likeness of his glorious body, by the power that enables him to subject everything to himself. (Philippians 3:20-21)

Will there be sex in heaven? Absolutely! In the sense that our distinction of sex will be maintained. Some theologians like Peter Kreeft argue that this retention paves the way for the possibility of sex (in the doing sense) in heaven. When we remove the distortion of sin that has marred sex (both the being and doing) and view it within the parameters of God’s original creative design, sex could become a possibility. That’s the argument anyway.

But there is still the consideration of Matthew 22:30. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like angels in heaven. (Matthew 22:30) We will be like angels in the sense that we won’t live like married couples. This doesn’t preclude relational connection with our loved ones. I’m convinced we will enjoy heaven with those we’ve loved in this life. But we won’t be married because there is only one marriage in heaven. That marriage is the marriage of Christ and His Church. Let us be glad, rejoice, and give him glory, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has prepared herself. (Revelation 19:7) We will be like the angels in that we won’t live as married couples. We’ll all be promised to Christ. We won’t be like angels in the sense of non-gendered (sexual) beings.

Will there be sex in heaven? Yes, we will experience a future resurrection that unites us with our physical yet glorified body. Bodies that I believe will retain their sexuality. Will there be sex in heaven? No, in the sense of sexual expression between two individuals.

At first blush, that may seem like a downer. But I’m reminded of the C.S. Lewis story in which a boy was being educated about sex for the first time. The boy was convinced that something so great must include eating chocolate. In his mind, the best thing the world had to offer was chocolate, so he couldn’t imagine such a great experience devoid of it.

Heaven will be a place of unending pleasure. Pleasure the likes of which we have no frame of reference. Heaven won’t be a step down in any regard. In our experience, sex within the covenant bond of marriage is a tremendous gift, creating a level of intimacy hard to duplicate. Sex (the doing variety) is such a gift, not in its activity, but fostering of intimacy. It’s what sex points to that gives it its intrinsic value. Imagine the joy of heaven in which our intimacy with God and others is so pronounced that we don’t need anything to point us in that direction. A place where we are experiencing intimacy in and through Christ eternally.