Hard Wake UP

Every day we make 100’s of choices. It starts from the moment we wake up to the time we lie down to sleep. Most are relatively inconsequential, but every choice begins to shape the pathway and patterns of our lives. Bethany and I seem to talk about choices a lot these days as we enter more of a coaching role with our growing children. As they mature, our children have an expanding scope of decisions to make, and we find our role changing. We make fewer decisions for them, but still feel the weight of their decisions. It’s weird this parenting thing!

A paradigm that helps us navigate this season is a paradigm that is applicable to us all. We don’t always use this exact phrase, but the idea permeates our family culture. We didn’t originate the phrase, but it’s a great concept to frame the decision-making process. We consistently reinforce the paradigm of choosing your hard. It’s simple, but that’s the phrase: choose your hard. A significant amount of the decision-making process comes down to choosing what is harder or easier in the moment. But what we don’t often remember is that a hard choice upfront typically leads to an easier outcome down the road. Making the easier choice upfront typically leads to a harder outcome down the road. It is an inescapable principle of life. Making the hard choice is a challenge; we tend to gravitate toward ease and comfort. 

Let me illustrate with a lesson I learned the hard way. In my late 20’s, I worked across the street from a Sam’s Club. In those days of seminary and young children, I wanted a few things in my life to be easy, and lunch became one of those easy choices. For $2.72 (tax included), I could walk into Sam’s Club and enjoy a hot dog, a pretzel, and a large Dr. Pepper. Not too shabby! So, I made it a habit about 4 times a week. It was easy and delicious, but a few years into the routine, I felt like Skubala. When I turned 30, it was a wake-up call. I walked away from Sam’s and Dr. Pepper (two of my very first loves) and bought a pair of sneakers. It was hard to change my habit, but I replaced it with running, and it wasn’t long before I felt drastically different. Ten years later, I ran my first marathon only to have my time shattered by Jenna Bridges (Daniel’s wife) a few years later. Ben Mekkes attempted this, but his feet couldn’t keep pace with his mouth. OOOOHHH!! I still love you, Ben!  

I go back to those early days of running because it was a pivotal lesson in intentionally choosing my hard. It’s hard to choose discipline over convenience, but it’s also hard when the consequences of convenience come. The pathway to excellence always comes through countless hard decisions. A measure of pain is inevitable. Doing the hard work doesn’t come naturally. But I consider seasons of not choosing the hard and still experiencing the pain of regret. 

It comes back full circle: choose your hard. Studying for a final exam is hard, but so are the consequences of retaking a class. Discipline and structure in the home are hard, but so are the consequences when they are lacking. It’s hard to pass on the McDonald’s fries, but so are the consequences of regularly eating them. What will it be? The pain of hard or the pain of regret?

What area of our lives do we need to choose the hard? It’s a proven principle when it comes to making the wise choice.